Let me tell you a story from my past that has lead me to where I am now.
When life was small and being a kid of 7 yrs old; there was nothing smaller than that, where a kid rarely had control of anything.
One of the things that I struggled with was listening to my parents tell me things that made no logical sense.
And being from raised in a particular religion, one of the things that were expected of me was to listen to every man; and DO ANYTHING THEY SAY; OR YOU ARE A BAD GIRL AND YOUR GOING TO HELL.
This was hard because there was NO individuality at all! And some of the things men told you to do as a young girl we’re down right evil; in my never to be humble opinion. Being expected to DO and BECOME whatever a man wanted was a hard pill to swallow. And there were times that I spoke back to my parents and said NO!
I was the oldest you see. Being expected to do and be whatever they say, including taking care of my siblings whenever my mother wanted. She predominately raised me because my father traveled for work, only seeing him 2 weekends out of the month. Please don’t feel too bad for my mother; my grandmother was there every day doing all the chores and taking care of us kids. Yes it was hard on my mother; yet she did have a ton of help.
So when Dad came home it was a BIG Deal! We all were to be on our Best Behavior and do anything he said, and most of the time I did. There was one time though I was expected to go to church in a dress like us girls were expected to do; I guess.
Being 7 yrs old and wanting to wear my favorite flowery girls 70’s pants suit because it was so pretty to me, and it was too nice for school. I got ready slowly; knowing it would upset my parents because it was all about fitting in with the flock at church; which is where girls are to wear only dresses and that is it.
My cute little mind thought that as long as they didn’t see me everything would be ok. So saying I was running late; I would walk; they left me and I walked to church by myself. While Walking to church in the fresh air; so proud of myself for standing up for what I desired; my confidence grew and grew with every step.
When I walked into the church; the shocked looks on my fellow church members was obvious. Not caring about the looks I focused on how proud of myself I was. Surprisingly; even the Bishop came and gave me a talking to telling me to go home and change. Refusing to go home and change into a dress I walked into my classroom and sat down. I beamed from ear to ear. I did it! I got my way I thought to myself. 🙂
My classmates were shocked and surprised; yet had welcoming smiles on their faces. You see; I was the only girl in a class of 14 boys. I wanted to fit in and not be shunned anymore. Just being a Girl in their eyes with no right to speak or have an opinion of my own was a horrible way to feel and be treated. I finally felt like I was being accepted for what I desired to do.
Don’t get me wrong; I am a heterosexual girl displaying a since of self in a time when girls and women were told to follow.
My parents were told; I am guessing from the bishop, and after about 15-20 min my parents came into my classroom and drug me out to have a talking to. Standing my ground for a short time doing my best to explain why I wore my pretty pants suit did nothing but fuel the fire of their anger. After I was in tears my Dad took me home and forced me to change my clothes to come back to church to show I was a good girl, and to show all who were told about the story that my parents were in control of me.
Why do I remember this story?
Why was it a life altering moment?
Well having it be such a dramatic story of a 7 yr old; for some reason it stuck with me to help me figure of the dynamics of life and all the why’s of it.
1) First; I learned that some people will fight to force their beliefs on you no matter what; because it is important for their life to work. Threatening that belief means you are important; bringing into their thoughts that they might be wrong. People will sometimes fight to the death over the point of not being wrong.
2) Two; sometimes the only time people will stand up and Be or Have what they desire is when there is a threat of independence on the table; and NOT Before. Which is what we are seeing in our world right now.
Remember; what Drives you may be different from another person; yet there is always Extreme Value in You Being You No Matter What; so we all can have a chance to learn from each other. You Have Value and Your Beliefs Have Value; whatever people may say; you add value to everyone you’re around; whether they understand you in the moment or not.
This is a good time to Remember this at this time of Year; especially as we go back amongst our families and friends that we haven’t seen for quite some time.
Thank You for listening and Giving Your Support.